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[Sugawara Koushi x Reader] Distant Fields

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Published: Jul 29, 2015

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Literature Text

_{Ah yes, this will definitely be a three parter. This is my first time writing for this series, so please enjoy!

====

As his gaze fell on one of the many billboards sporting your visage, Sugawara couldn't help but crack a somewhat heartbroken smile. Honestly, you were just as beautiful as ever...

---

He'd just been trying to go over the information of today's test, when muffled sobs accompanied by tears staining the pages of his book broke him out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw you, barely holding onto the train's handle as you cried your eyes out. He closed his book, eyeing you more carefully, before suddenly making eye contact.

"Um, I couldn't help but notice that you- well, you're kind of... crying?" he sheepishly stated. You merely nodded, attempting to wipe away your tears. You didn't want to look like a total fool to this stranger, although you probably already did.

"Y-yeah, sorry..." you quietly muttered, tears on the verge of spilling yet again. Sugawara found himself unsure on how to continue, until his eyes fell on your uniform.

"I see you're also an Uwamushi Junior High student? As your fellow student I... I'd like to help you in some way, even if that sounds a little odd coming from a total stranger," he said with a chuckle.

Although the normal reaction would probably be to ignore him, something inside of you told you that you could trust this boy.

"I appreciate the offer... my name is (ln), (fn), I'm a third year," you managed to say.

"Ah, what a lovely name! I'm Sugawara, Koushi, also a third year," he introduced himself, "and, errr, if you'd prefer, you could sit in my seat instead...?" he said, standing up and motioning towards the seat. You wanted to refuse, but he ushered you to sit either way.

"So, tell me, (ln)-san, what sort of thing is troubling you?"

You rubbed at your eyes once more.

"I... I got kicked out of my band because I... they said my singing wasn't good enough - that they'd never advance if I were there," you said, slowly starting to sob again near the end of your explanation. He gave you a reassuring pat on the head.

"Well, we're still young. There's plenty of time to work hard and show them what they're missing out on."

Somehow, he felt his heart skip a beat when you finally smiled at him.

---

He'd counted the days since you last met, and now they came to exactly a year. A year without contact. A year without you. To say it was painful was an understatement.

He wondered if you sometimes also felt as lonely as he did. Were you thinking about him? No, who was he kidding - he was just a face in the crowd now, wasn't he...? He mentally scolded himself for thinking like that. However, something about that thought gnawed at him. He knew you weren't as strong as he was emotionally.

---

"I don't understand, can't I just make music because I love it, isn't that enough?! Won't my feelings be conveyed?!" you practically shouted at him. He just held you closer. It wasn't easy, something like this. You'd found out the hard way that your former band was using the song you wrote for them as their debut song, not even bothering to mention it was you who wrote it.

"No... that's enough. Surely, that's enough, but some people just realise those kind of things too late," he tried to reassure you, you grabbing onto his shirt tighter in response.

"I'm sorry for staining your clothes again," you mumbled, "it seems like it's become a habit by now."

"I don't mind, honestly," he said, a peaceful smile on his face, "Just keep fighting, (ln)-chan, you'll get there, I believe in you."

---

Two years. Had two years really gone by without you? He'd tried forgetting about you, he had more important things to focus on, such as volleyball, after all. He never quite could stop the dreams he had about you, the two of you quietly listening to your favourite music. Sharing earbuds, there wasn't anything that needed to be said, it felt like an eternity already. But he had to move on, he knew.

That is, until their loss against Dateko. Not only could he feel the pressure of having failed his team somehow, he couldn't stop his thoughts from somehow ending up on you. Everything came crashing down at once, and for once, it wasn't you who ended up crying at his house for hours on end.

He found himself feeling the same way as when he was first told you'd have to cut all contact with him. He couldn't quite understand it, this strange idol business. You'd have to keep your romantic past with him hidden, and were forbidden from dating anyone. He knew idols could go through scandals, but he honestly didn't see the problem.

But being the kind who puts others before himself, he told you - no, ordered you - to let go of him, to pursue your dreams. He'd be damned if he were the one holding you back. After all, this was your one true dream, wasn't it?

---

You breathing was very much exaggerated, and he couldn't help but find it adorable. He softly squeezed your hand, eyeing the envelope with the CD in it. The envelope containing your application to a talent agency.

"You'll be fine, (fn)-chan. You've worked so hard for this all year, I'm sure they'll love you!" he said with a casual laugh. You merely pouted.

"B-but what if they don't like my style? Or what if they think I'm too ugly - or what if, what if...!" you starting rambling, but he silenced you by placing a kiss on your forehead.

"Don't worry. I love you, as will they."

---

Somehow, he couldn't help but feel that you weren't all that happy. He felt even worse when he realised how happy that made him feel. He was utterly disgusted with himself, how could he even hope you'd dislike the dream you were now living just so you could come back to him? Your happiness was what was more important.

He was very much surprised when coach Ukai had managed to get the entire team front row tickets for a certain (fn)'s live performance, to celebrate their recent victory. Daichi had approached him after everyone else was gone, telling him he didn't have to go if it was too painful. After all, he'd finally opened up and told the captain everything. He insisted that he was alright, though. At least, for now.

---

He was surprised at how much you'd changed. Hell - he knew three years could change a person greatly, but he hadn't expected this. You somehow looked much more radiant, as if you knew you were the brightest star in the whole universe. Something about your eyes was off, though. They seemed to be all over the place, trying to focus on something.

---

"Ah, (ln)-chan! Here's the list of people on the front row. In case you don't feel comfortable with any of them being there, just give me a shout!" your manager shouted. You thanked her and carefully looked through the list, until you spotted a certain name.

"No, that can't be..."

---

You'd found him. It took you three years, but somehow, you'd found him again. Your eyes immediately locked onto his, and time seemed to freeze right then and there. It seemed like an eternity passed, until you got your body to move properly again.

Reaching out your hand towards him under the pretense of simply greeting a fan, he grabbed onto your hand. The moment felt like an eternity to you, while to him, it seemed as if time had accelerated. The moment went by too fast, and he found himself suddenly torn away by security guards for getting too close to you.

But he knew - he knew how you felt inside.}